here goes nothing

I am a lurker. Online, at parties, perhaps beneath your table as you gather for dinner: I’m there, silent, soaking up every word.

Because here’s the thing: People are fascinating.  

But here’s the other thing: People are terrifying.

I’m not afraid people are rabid and will bite me or anything. That irrational fear only rises up when I encounter a strange dog or when a squirrel gets just a little too close. No, people scare me because they hold the power of not caring. Which is fine, but only as long as you aren’t saying anything.

Silence insulates you from being hurt.

But when you start to tell a story and realize everyone has stopped listening? Or text a friend and they never respond? Or place an order and then see the waiter in another booth EATING your FOOD??? It’s upsetting. It hurts in a way that keeping to yourself doesn’t.

So...why am I hurling my thoughts into the vast, uncaring void of the internet? I guess it’s time to force myself out of my own head a little bit. Or at the very least, I think it’s time to invite a few more people in.  

The real reason? My Wife. Doesn’t. Care.   

She loves me. She’s supportive. We’re fine. But there are several times a week that I start talking for too long about a movie or a song and she wishes it was an email so she could skim it, ignore it, or unsubscribe. And now so can you! (She’s been nudging me towards writing more for years and is incredibly encouraging, just so you don’t get the wrong idea.)

The REAL reason though? Few things in this life are as valuable as connecting with other humans, and I don’t do it nearly as often as I should. I don’t want to spend the next 20 years scrolling through feeds and mashing like buttons and never having actual conversations. I need to spit some words out of my head and let some new words in from other people.

So don’t let me do all of the talking. See anything interesting lately? Let me know about it. Have thoughts about something I write? Write me back! Disagree strongly with something I say? @ me on Twitter and summon an angry mob! Let’s socialize 21st century style in totally healthy ways!!!

I’m planning on writing about entertainment generally, and primarily films to begin with. Most movie news is focused on rumors about things that aren’t out yet and first impression reviews of every film as it hits theaters. I’d like to take a bit of a step back. For at least some of the time, I’m interested in exploring how the legacies of certain movies have played out, and how my own feelings about art tend to evolve over time. (Case in point: It’s a Wonderful Life was a financial flop and the first time I saw The Phantom Menace I thought it was a masterpiece. Clearly first impressions aren’t everything.) The goal is anti-clickbait. To a certain extent I’ll just have to start writing consistently and see what happens.

I have never accomplished much in life without a deadline, so to start things off I’m going to be hitting SEND on this thing every Sunday afternoon. Stay tuned, and thanks for coming along for the ride!